I write to you (specifically, with you in mind) from the back of science class 101 today. yes, that’s right – instead of learning about the chemicals that make up boron I am going to write about chipmunks and maybe fruit salad.

Ok, so I say the following acknowledging the massive importance of science to a culture – but science blows, man. It’s so boring. I know it’s important, but it’s important that other people do it. Smart people. Smart people in labcoats with glasses. I don’t know why you would try to teach a guy like me science. You don’t want me anywhere NEAR science. If you put me in charge of solving the global warming dilemma, I would buy a bunch of Maytag freezers and leave the doors open. I have no idea how to mix elements and I have no idea how the human brain works. And I’m ok with that. I’m ok with other people knowing how to run that stuff. I, meanwhile, will contribute to society using my very specific gifts – ie Tom Hanks movie fan fiction.

So science isn’t for me. We’ve cleared that up. I’ve accepted that. And because I’ve accepted that, I switch my brain off in this class. UNTIL, of course, the ALIEN section of the course. Alright! Now yer talkin’! A couple of classes ago we learned about the possibility of alien life – and you betcha, it’s real possible! There are so many planets out there that it’s pretty likely one of them is like earth, and one of those has aliens! When you reach a point in your life, you have the realization that, like most of life’s most fantastical youthly dreams (magic powers, dragons, werewolves), aliens probably don’t exist. That’s what culture tries to tell you, to not get your hopes up. And that sucks! Don’t get your hopes up, aliens likely don’t exist. BUT then you reach another point in your life a few years later, and you realize that, actually, aliens maybe possibly could potentially exist maybe! And in lieu of the disappointment of no bigfoots hiding out in caves anywhere, I will keep my sights focused on aliens maybe potentially existing possibly somewhere someplace.

Poll question (just use the comments or something): What is your opinion on a name change for this comic? I realize poop in bed has a sort of vague weird charm but…. definitely not gonna mention that name to anyone over thirty. Vote vote vote!

jkd