i came across one of those snake gag gifts the other day. it looked something like this:

now, few people can resist the lure of the potato chip. especially the pringled potato chip. a literal STACK of potato chips. unlike bagged chips and candy, which always disappoint with their tendency to be 75% snack and 25% air, tube potato chips are right up to the brim. guaranteed satisfaction.

SO when presented with a tube of hypothetical potato chips like this one, its likely that one is unable to think past “chips coming soon to my mouth”. your guard is fully put off, unlike some more obvious prank items. so the lid comes off, and the toy snakes inside shoot up at you, prompting both of the following reactions, sequentially:

1. “WHOA holy! YIKES. NOT really that funny, just scary! Act like you think it was funny.”

2. “I guess this means I’m not getting any potato chips”.

but once this happens to you once, you will likely become jaded and scarred towards the world (and in particular, the generosity of others), so any tube chips you spot will no longer be the ultimate snack choice, but rather one you meet with a fair bit of skepticism and trepidation, reacting with caution when opening a tube of pringles, instead of pure joy.

but seriously, we are pretty dumb to not be skeptical of the joke tubes. look at the picture up there. the label is faded. i’ve never heard of “nibbles” (and it sounds like cat food). “stacks of fun” is a bad tagline.

and yet……. i would probably look inside if it was handed to me again.

what if there were chips inside? gotta know.

remember when people who pulled pranks (and i mean old-fashioned pranks, like the “fly in icecube” or the “electric handshake”) were really fascinating people? what i mean is, when you were seven years old, you probably had a wacky uncle. at least one. the single one who probably was pretty upset he was 45 and was always on the chopping block to go to the “kids table” if there was no room at the main table due to his spouse-lessness. that one, you know? so anyways, because that one was the single uncle or aunt, they compensated by being “wacky”. bringing those practical jokes, like the icecube or the handshake. and you thought they were way cool. and back in the day, they kinda were.

when gag props were in their infancy, they were hilarious (maybe i think this cause when this was first happening i was like 6). nothing could stop the guy with the whoopee cushion! life of the party!

try a whoopee cushion in today’s modern culture. SCOWL CENTRAL

which is maybe a good thing. those gag gifts are kinda annoying

jkd