here’s part 5 of our lovable 7 part or maybe 8 part series, “booker ‘n gappy”. i know you’ll love the action packed conclusion, featuring all sorts of things… like… tigers (????)!

getting back in school has reminded me of all the things i used to do to waste time in school (which is a GREAT idea when you’re shelling out those modern day college prices). for example, the helicopter game (ala jetman ala worm game ala my grade 12 year). in this game, you click to make the helicopter fly through a tunnel thing with green blocks of sorts. not much motivation to go by there really but its an insane time waster. ESPECIALLY when you set goals for yourself. like “i am going to play until i pass 1000 points”. i don’t set goals for myself in school, but i sure do with the helicopter game.

but the biggest (and potentially most useless – at least in the helicopter game i set goals) time waster for me is by far yahoo chess. i am not good at chess. chess is a thinkin man’s game. im not sayin im not a thinkin man, i just tend to spend most of my thinkin’ on how much id like to be friends with sonic the hedgehog. but i like to play chess, and i have an abysmal record. at least i did, before yahoo renovated their chess factory – my record was something like 7-23. embarrassing! but with the slate wiped clean with the page’s redesign, i started at 0-0. i might add that the new flashy chess they got going on kinda scares me, and i don’t know why. but they have a box where you can leave suggestions or comments as to how they can improve the service. seeing as how i had no real constructive criticism, i sent this:

charming

you’re able to make your own avatar for this new flashy fancypants service, so i threw together a pretty accurate representation of me

lets point out all the things that are wrong with this picture:

- i am wearing a scarf (indoors)

- i am wearing a cowboy hat and ridiculous glasses (i only wear a cowboy hat)

- i have a robot and live on the bridge of some star station (actually that is the only thing i wish was right about this picture)

- i am stroking a ferret (presumably to cook for dinner later)

so i went into my first yahoo chess game on the new and improved yahoo chess service with my cowboy intellectual ferret eater. i was matched up against a guy named “partyboy2007″ who i promptly needed answers from, and demanded them from the ingame chat.

ME: so is the party over since its 2010, or has it been just like a constant bash for three years?

PARTYBOY2007: haha still partyin man

chess is a game of wits. so i needed to immediately turn up the TRASH TALKtm

ME: you suck at chess

game, set, match

PARTYBOY2007: i haven’t even moved yet

ME: i can just tell though. like look at your emotionless non-threatening avatar

does this look like a partyboy2007 to you?

PARTYBOY2007: haha

ME: don’t laugh. i am going to destroy you! (in chess)

all things told, i actually lost. but it was a pretty thrilling game (if you can ever call a chess game thrilling) (and you shouldn’t)

good day to you

jkd