part two in a series today. yes, we’re actually doing a series of comics for a while here. call it an experiment. and, as an authority on the subject, i think i can declare this experiment a “rousing success.” part three on monday!

as for how many parts this experiment will have? … i have no idea, at this point.

speaking of science, i am in a class about it right now. i haven’t been around school for a long time, and as such my brain is slower on the uptake these days. especially in something like science. i am so completely left-brained (or is it right?) that i am skilled almost singularly in reading and writing (english things), and utterly useless when it comes to adding and using “formulas” (math stuff). i add on my fingers. even if i don’t show it that i’m adding on my fingers, ala pointing at each one as i add, i still picture my fingers in my head adding together. weird. sounds as weird to me typing it as it probably does to you reading it.

i recently got one of those new-fangled “macintosh apple” computers the kids are talking about. it’s a “macintosh book professional version”. the keys light up. the screen is shiny. the programs are made for someone who does more than use word processors and play the helicopter game. im slowly learning the functions. the absence of a “right click” button reeeeally puzzled me. there was just one button on the computer. one click. and at first i didn’t care for it. i considered it simplification beyond what was necessary. no one was complaining about two buttons. but now that i have learned to cope, two buttons seems primitive and clunky to me. if i saw a laptop with two buttons, im pretty sure i would look down on it. i have already inherited some of that “mac superiority complex”. and i can totally see myself moving more in that direction. scoffing at anyone with a pc, considering them “inferior”. computer prejudice, aka “techism”. its a continuous journey.

i’ve been watching this show on mtv (along with, apparently, all of america – which is kinda sad) called “jersey shore.” don’t get me wrong, this show is one of the most flat-out entertaining pieces of garbage ever. it’s like the outsiders, mixed with the real world, mixed with the godfather, mixed with kevin federline. a group of 20 somethings got brought to a beach house with only one stipulation – be themself. and thank the tv gods for it. these folk live their lives and we are all the better for it – they go to clubs, get in fights, punch out strangers – and all you have to do is watch and make scathing comments about how stupid they are!

i want to make this perfectly clear right now: i enjoy every second i watch of this show. and it’s not even typical mtv garbage. i don’t feel embarrassed about watching this show! i feel VERY embarrassed that i watched paris hilton’s new bff, but that sorta goes without saying.

the best character on this show (i say character, but this guy actually exists in real life, which is baffling) is a guy who calls himself “the situation”. he calls himself this because he was at a club one time, took off his shirt, and a guy pointed at his abs and said, “yo, that is the SITUATION right there!” so this guy is unreasonably confident and cocky, going to clubs with a take-no-prisoners approach that seems to work out for him. i thought i’d adopt this persona and apply it to good-time-maker, omegle.

(here’s the real life situation. and the inspiration for these chats.)

#1
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: whats up baby
You: 22/the situation/jersey shore
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

—————–
#2
Stranger: Hi!
You: hey, im the situation, what’s your name baby?
Stranger: MY name is amar
Stranger: How about you?
You: don’t lie to me baby
You: whats your name. is it sharon?
Stranger: no
You: im shredding cheese on my washboard abs
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

——————

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hey what’s up, my name’s mike, but you can call me the situation
You: in fact, please do
Stranger: hi the situation
You: do you wanna go back to my place?
You: its on the shore
Stranger: i guess
Stranger: the shore of a beach or the shore of a rocky sea slope?
You: the beach
You: who the … who lives on a rocky sea slope
Stranger: I think Mel Gibson did in Man without a face
You: i have 7 stds. all fatal. is that ok with you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

————-

have a good weekend!