today is the one week anniversary of the launch of the poop in bed website. i know, right? i can’t believe we made it. oh, how the world has changed since then. so many things happened. for instance, i gained 5 pounds! (ate a whole pie last night)

time for america’s favorite blog feature (beside’s the entirety of oprah’s blog) – tweet analysis!, wherein i search random words in twitter’s search engine and analyze the results.

let’s see what people are saying about avatar, the new movie by james cameron.

avatar

too many tweets! bad word choice. lazy, but i’ll skim through…

ok. ok. ok. MAN. im mad. i just got the ending ruined! some loser saw a early screening and ruined it for everyone else. this feature has turned into a disaster. i was looking forward to that movie quite a bit! one of the biggest movies of the decade :(

im going to try something really safe now. i hate twitter!

toaster

rebecca******: thanks, toaster. for burning my freaking pop-tart.

i am still kinda amazed by twitter. not because it’s amazing – by no means – but because this sort of thing is posted all the time. even people who are this rebecca’s friends aren’t going to care about how she burnt her pop tart. im not saying i dont do the same thing (almost tweeted “time for chili” the other day), but its kinda a waste of time, tweeting.

lets see if rebecca gets more interesting.

rebecca******: walking 20 minutes to a class that is cancelled is a giant slap in the face from God. my nose is a block of ice and my socks are soaked

not bad. i give this tweet a B-. continue tweeting. i’ll allow it!

new search: siamese twins

travelling*****: Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

i don’t know if you watch TLC, but what used to be a learning channel has basically turned into the freak show channel. i mention this because i’ve never really heard much about siamese twins, so it seems almost fair game to make fun of them. any other disadvantaged individual? not cool to make fun of them, dude! but let’s be honest – no one watches TLC to be informed. they watch it to see freaks. now, i’m not calling these people freaks – but there’s really no denying that TLC gets all it’s ratings from fat people (<– don’t watch if you are easily grossed, or even slightly easily grossed) and midgets.

as far as siamese twins go, though… until i hear of one (some?) getting offended…. this tweet gave me a slight lol of a good time.

in other news, i have recently become an insomniac. i’ve mentioned how i live in what is basically an old folks home – an apartment building filled with likely 80% old folk. every time i leave the apartment i am worried i will be mistaken for someone’s child, or will be called “precious”.  but living in a place like this means that the old folk need to crank up the heat in order to survive. i dont know why this is. perhaps because their skin is loose? so maybe heat is able to sneak in underneath the gaps in the skin. you’ve probably noticed how old people are always putting on sweaters (on top of other sweaters). so i live in the tropics. i walk outside and experience hypothermia within seconds. its an extreme, one that has kept me up at night the past four days. ive got maybe 12 hours under my belt.

so screw you guys im outta here

kidding i love you (except for one of you. you know who you are)