blog post, am i right everybody?

whats that you say? it is not between the previously agreed upon hours of 2-4 pm? and instead is late into the night, closer to 4 AM? which presents a time discrepancy of at least 10 hours? oh, haha, you and your judgmental jumps to conclusions! of course, to the untrained eye it would seem that i dropped the ball and totally forgot to blog post! but in reality, i have just moved to malaysia, wherein the time is 3 pm on a gloriously breezy saturday afternoon. malaysians are going about their day, experiencing the malaysian weather patterns while following various common malaysian customs. they speak in their native malaysian tongue about common malaysian issues, such as the malaysian economy and malaysian political culture. ah, i am so glad that i have moved to malaysia, wherein i receive an additional 10-12 hours to write blog posts, and not the postings wherein they arrive frequently late and hurried, which would be extremely silly.

truth is! i fully intended on re-writing this post after having LOST IT ALL to the icy teat (?) of the internet last night. i was all set up and ready to go at 2 pm. then i turned on cable, and “sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street” was on. johnny depp was singing. you have to understand that something like that is simply something you do not shut off. i began to watch. a man on tv was eating a sandwich and “quiznos. quiznos. quiznos.” popped into my head, and i was driven by those words out the door and into the nearby store, where i purchased a beef and swiss melt on garlic bread, the greatest sandwich since peanut butter and banana (which i had for breakfast). then i went to the fair. and the fair was just about what you would expect. however i did eat a large chunk of what the carny called “iced fried dough”. big mistake.

iced fried dough + ring of fire ride = ring of iced fried dough puddle

very embarrassing.

anyways, i got home late and went right to bed. suddenly remembered the blog post at 4 am.

all of that to say – im sorry i ruined your saturdays. i know you woke up early and came to the blog and tapped “refresh” repeatedly. oh, you scamp. i just can’t satisfy your craving for my musings on my eating habits, can i?

now, last night i typed up an entirely different blog about phone bills (riveting). but mine has been ridiculously high the last few months (im talkin $110+ a month). now, im sorta new to the cell phone game so a “convenience charge”? i didn’t sign up for that. that seems unfair. like in school when teachers would say “you know, being here is privilege, not a right!”. well actually, with the way the law is, it sorta is a right. but its like cell phone companies are doing you a huge favor. “sure, we’ll let you use our services. pay us for the usage. but we still feel like you owe us, i mean, we put a lot of work into getting this all set up, you know.” so they slap you with weird fees! i dont like it one bit.

so i conducted some prank calls but only transcribed them as i went along. sadly when i lost the blog i lost the transcripts. so next week, ala my MJ call, i will REPRANK the phone companies and record those calls. im like robin hood, only i will get nothing accomplished and ruin a poor customer service employee’s day!

i’d do those calls now, but… y’know. fried dough’s gettin’ to me.

(i swear from now on ill get the blog posts done on time! please dont send me away. its cold and i have no place to sleep. i cant go back to geocities, i just cant.)

jkd